


How To Cure Anything

by xxignoredxx



Category: Continue?Show, Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: BFFs forever, M/M, Zombie, blowjob, why, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 09:06:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxignoredxx/pseuds/xxignoredxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or, how Nick Murphy found the cure to zombinism. Leave it to the zombie apocalypse to bring people together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Cure Anything

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, funny story about this. If any of you guys are fans of the Continue?Show on YouTube, then you would know that a few weeks ago they posted a video for Fantasy Month called Warlock. Now, we all know they made the jokes about the zombie-blowjob, and how they really hoped one of their female viewers would write it.
> 
> Well, one day on tumblr, I sent an ask to them asking if anyone had written the fanfic yet. They actually fucking replied, saying that no one had and that they wanted me to.
> 
> And that's how I got famous people to ask me to write smut for them.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Continue?Show or any games that they have played on that show. I also do not own the concept of zombies, George Romero does. I also do not own any trademarked thing mentioned in this story.

The morning of December 21st, 2012 was met with no surprise – the world was ending. Those who hadn't believed looked like fools as those who were prepared were kept safe. Instead of fire and brimstone and harsh words from an ancient god, those who had recently died were now coming back to life. Zombies; real life flesh-eaters.

In the rush to barricade themselves from the horror, Nick and Paul had been bitten. Josh had managed to fend the group surrounding the house off, but it didn't matter – his friends would soon turn into the very things they were trying to stay away from. 

Mrs. Murphy was crying, hunched over at the kitchen table. Nick, kneeling next to his wife with one hand on her knee, was doing his best to comfort her while trying his hardest to not sob along with her. But nothing in the ending world could fix how they both felt; nothing could fix what was eventually going to happen to Nick. 

Paul held his right arm close to his chest. He couldn't believe that _this_ was how he was going to die. He always thought he would quietly die when he was very old in a soft bed, tucked away in a corner at the hospital with his closest friends holding his hand. But no; he was dieing because of a zombie, because he fought for his life. It would be exhilarating if death wasn't so near. 

He was standing in grim silence with Josh in the kitchen. They could still see their bearded friend, but they were far enough away from the Murphy's to give them some privacy. Paul looked at Josh out of the corner of his eye. The red-head was rubbing his face with both of his hands, his eyes tired and sad. Paul wanted to say something to make his friend feel a little better – a joke? No, not the right time for that. Serious words of wisdom? too heavy – but the black-haired man was interrupted by Nick clearing his throat. 

“Hey guys – uh, we kind of want to be alone for a while,” Nick said as he rose from his seat. His wife followed, her face red from crying. The couple walked over to Paul and Josh and the four of them stood there in awkward silence for a moment. 

“You guys should spend as much time as you can together,” Paul stated, as if these were the last words he would ever say to his close friend. For all he knew, they would be. 

Josh nodded in agreement. “Do what you need, man.” 

Once again, the four of them stood there in silence. The three men were all staring at each other, not really sure what to say. Eventually, Paul extended his arm forward, inviting Nick to shake his hand. “It's been good, dude.” 

Slowly and tentatively, Nick took Paul's hand in a firm grasp and shook it before pulling him forward, crushing the paler man in a tight hug. This was it. This was their last moments together. No more show, no more hanging out, no more world as they know it. They were going to die long before Josh and Mrs. Murphy, and that thought was almost too much for Paul to bare. 

Finally, Nick pulled away from his friend and gripped his shoulders tightly. For the briefest of moments, Paul was positive that Nick was going to say something meaningful and finite as they stared at each other with grim faces, but Nick just nodded and removed his hands, pulling away to wrap an arm around his wife. 

“We – we're just going upstairs, okay?” Nick said as his wife started to cry again, softly. Josh and Paul just nodded, understanding that the couple should spend their last few moments together alone. With a final, grim smile, and one last look at his best friends, Nick ushered his wife toward the direction of the stairs, leaving the other men behind. 

They stood in the kitchen silently for a long time, neither of them really sure of what to say. There was so much Paul wanted to talk about, to finally tell someone the truth about, but none of it could leave his mouth. It seemed like Josh was in much of the same state, stuck between letting the silence fill the space and wanting to reveal a deep, dark secret. 

“Josh,” Paul said, his voice cracking slightly. He didn't look up at his friend, but Paul could practically feel Josh's eyes on his cheek. “Can we go down to the basement?” 

“Yeah man, whatever you want.” 

Paul led the way through the kitchen to the basement. Again, both men were silent, left to their own musings and regrets about life. Once they reached the basement, Josh stood awkwardly in the middle of the room as Paul shut the door firmly. He grabbed an old, wooden chair they had used to prop up a lamp and shoved it under the doorknob, locking them in. He turned to Josh, who had a very confused and slightly scared look on his face. 

“I don't want to become one of them.” 

Them. A zombie. A thing that only lives to eat flesh. Something that is alive, but has no soul, no thoughts, no feelings. The very thought scared Paul. The fact that he was going to become one was almost unbearable. 

Josh nodded, easing himself down onto their couch in his usual spot. Paul sat next to him in his spot. “What do you want to do then?” 

There was a knot in his throat that Paul just couldn't seem to swallow. He somehow managed to look Josh square in the eyes. “Make sure I don't become one of them, Josh. I would rather die than walk around eating people.” Paul sighed, clutching his bitten arm close to his chest. “Man, I never thought it would end like this. 

Surprisingly, Josh didn't say a single word. Instead, he wrapped an arm loosely around Paul’s shoulders, trying to give some sort of comfort. “Neither did I, man. Neither did I.” 

The inevitable panic began to fill Paul's chest. “Everything we've been working toward – you and me and Nick – none of it even matters now, it's all just gone to waste. Nick and I are going to die, or turn, or whatever, and what comes after that? My family, are they even still alive? Josh – you – I'm not ready to die. I can't – I don't -” 

That damn lump in his throat was only getting bigger. Paul tried to keep his breathing even, but the hysteria would not subside. 

“Jesus christ, man. Everything has gone to shit, and I won't even be around – I'll be long gone before – I won't even get to see it all turn out. Josh, you better not fucking die, cause I swear to god – Nick would be so pissed at you -” 

Paul's increasingly panicked voice was interrupted by a loud vibrating noise. Startled and surprised, Josh unwrapped his arm from Paul and dug his cell-phone out of his pocket. 

“Huh, I didn't know the cell towers were still up,” Josh said before he answered his phone. 

“JOSH...I know how to...” Paul could hear Nick's voice on the other end. He was yelling so loud, the red-head had to hold his phone a couple of inches away from his ear to keep from going deaf. It would be unfortunate to go deaf in the zombie-apocalypse. 

“Nick, are you sure?” His friend glanced at Paul with a look in his eye that the dark haired man couldn't quite place. Fear? No, not quite. Hope? Maybe, but that's not all. Confusion? Well, who the hell isn't confused right now? 

“Okay Nick, thanks for calling. You owe me,” Josh ordered before slamming his phone shut. He turned to look at Paul, who was still very confused. “You will never believe this.” 

Paul scrunched his eyebrows, now a little scared. “What? Did Mrs. Murphy get bit too? Please don't tell me you'll be all alone.” 

Josh laughed and rubbed the back of his head. “No, but I sort of wish that right now.” 

“What? Why the fuck would you say something like that?” 

“Nick figured out the cure.” 

When asked about it later, Paul couldn't even deny that his heart stopped for a full two seconds. “W-what?” 

“Nick figured out the cure,” Josh repeated, pushing himself up off the couch. He began to pace. “But I really don't know if you'll want it or not.” 

Paul sprung up, relief making it much too hard to keep sitting. “Of course I fucking want it! It isn't that bad, is it? I'll do whatever, I swear, even if I have to cut off an arm, rip out an eye, or even sever my dick -” 

“It's a blowjob,” Josh said as he stopped moving about, staring Paul straight in the eyes. 

His heart stopped again. “It's a _what_?” 

Josh sighed and began pacing again. “It's a _blowjob_ , head, oral sex, fellatio, cock-sucking, putting a penis into someone's mouth and sucking -” 

Paul shrugged. “So what? As stupid as the cure sounds, I'm cool with it. And it's not like Nick won't let the wife give me head, it's sort of life and death right now. Why are you acting so freaked out about it? 

“Mrs. Murphy won't be giving you one. The Murphy's are sort of, ah, 'busy' right now,” Josh said, continuing his pacing. All that walking was starting to make Paul tired. 

“ _What_? Nick Murphy, you're such an asshole! Who's gonna save me then, huh? There sure as hell aren't many options.” Paul exclaimed as he collapsed on the couch, rubbing his face with his hands. _Fucking Nick, that horny fucker, I can't believe he's gonna let me die like this, that cuntbag!_

Josh kicked the couch before sitting on the floor next to Paul's legs. “You're not gonna die, dude. Nick asked me to do it.” 

“Nick asked you to do -? Oh.” Then it clicked. Nick was upstairs having celebratory sex with his wife, so he asked Josh to 'cure' Paul. Paul could feel his whole face turn red as he looked in the opposite direction of Josh. “Dude, you don't have to – we can just go kick them out of bed, it's sort of life and death right now.” 

He heard Josh sigh. “Nick's celebrating with his wife, as he should be. So I guess your options are to turn into a zombie, or – well, you know.” 

Silence stretched between them again. It's not like Paul had never thought about guys like that before (during puberty, who didn't think about the same sex like that?), but Josh was his _friend_ , someone who he trusted. Plus, they're both very adult, very straight males. This isn't their teenage years where a blowjob from a friend could be laughed off by next week when the next porn mag came out. They were just too old for stuff like this. 

The wound on Paul's right arm throbbed, causing him to wince in pain. His wound was beginning to burn and look of rotting flesh. The decision seemed to be making itself. 

“Uh, well,” Paul began, fumbling his words a little. “If you're okay with it, then I guess it's better than shooting myself in the head.” He tried to laugh and lighten the mood, but his chuckle came out more as a choking sound. Smooth. 

Josh sighed again as he moved himself in front of Paul's knees. The paler man was now forced to look at his best friend. Josh looked so awkward, almost as awkward as Paul felt. Paul moved his knees apart slightly, earning a blush from Josh. _Might as well get this started._

Swallowing thickly, Josh edged himself closer to Paul, sitting on his knees awkwardly. He reluctantly placed a hand on the middle-man's left knee, unsure of how to actually go about it. Sure, he'd gone down on women before, but that was an art in itself. Sucking cock was not high on Josh's list of skills, thank you very much. 

Paul rolled his eyes. He was just as nervous as Josh was, but he did his best to hide it. For fuck's sake, his life was at stake. Paul reached down and undid his own jeans, earning a slightly startled look from Josh. “Well, it's gotta get done sooner or later. Preferably sooner,” Paul said, huffing slightly. 

Josh watched as his friend unzipped the front of his pants, then lifted his hips slightly to tug them down his waist slightly, along with his underwear. His cock was completely flaccid, but it was still weird to have his friend staring at it like that, like Josh had never seen a penis in his whole life before this moment. It made Paul feel so uncomfortable, it was almost unbearable. 

“Uh, you can just look away for a minute. I'll get myself... ready, then you can – yeah.” Paul said as he played with the edge of his jeans. Josh blushed even more before he nodded and turned his whole body so that he was facing away from Paul. Even though it was better than having his friend look at his penis face on, it still felt bizarre to have Josh in the room while Paul was basically jerking himself off. 

He did his best to not think about the red-head sitting in front of him – big breasted women; asses that could make your mouth water; full, luscious red lips perfect for things other than kissing – but it still took a while for Paul to get an erection, mostly due to the fact that his brain kept shouting _JOSH IS GOING TO SUCK YOU OFF_ and _HOLY SHIT MOTHERFUCKER, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENIG._

Once Paul felt he was hard enough, he removed his hand from his prick and cleared his throat. Josh jumped slightly before turning around again. His blush seemed to spread farther down his neck than Paul thought was possible. He would have to make fun of his friend later for that. 

“Okay Josh, do your worst.” Paul exhaled as he closed his eyes. No matter how good of friends they were, Paul didn't think he could actually watch Josh suck his cock. It was already going to be horridly uncomfortable after this all was over. 

He heard Josh shift, moving closer still. Paul's hips jerked at the sudden contact of Josh's hand on his cock. He could feel his breath on his prick, coming out shaky and nervous. Paul almost reached out to rest a hand on Josh's head, but the action seemed much too intimate. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest. 

Just as Paul was about to ask Josh if he was alright, lips wrapped themselves around the tip of his dick. It had been a while since anyone sucked him off – Paul almost forgot how nice it felt. 

_Okay, just think about some chick doing it. What about that girl from the Goonies? Stef? Was that her name? Whatever, she was hot. Pretend it's her doing this._

At first, it was really awkward. Josh had to figure out to to breathe while having a mouth full of cock, then he had to test how much he could actually shove down his throat before almost choking. But, after a while, Josh was doing an okay job. In fact, he was doing a better-than-okay job, bobbing his head up and down like that. 

As much as Paul would hate to admit, it took a lot of effort to not shove his hands into Josh's red hair and push his mouth down farther. The shorter man was even using one of his hands to pump Paul's cock as he sucked. Paul bit his lip to keep a moan from escaping his lips, knowing that any added sound would only make it worse. But it was getting hard to keep the whimpers in as Josh began to move up and down faster, sucking so hard Paul was sure his cheeks were hollowed out by now. Paul was incredibly tempted to sneak a peek, but instead he threw his left arm over his eyes. If he saw his friend like this, he would never be able to look at Josh with a straight face ever again. 

It was too much – just too much. Josh was sucking just right and moving his hand perfectly, Paul couldn't keep a moan from coming out, even if he really wanted to. Josh's actions stopped for the briefest of moments before picking up again, only slightly faster. Paul's right arm flew down to Josh's hair as if it had a mind of it's own, tugging on those red strands of hair. Paul moaned again, feeling incredibly stupid and flustered. 

After about a minute, the pressure was almost too much. “Josh – stop – I'm gonna-!” 

He came. _Oh god I just came in Josh's mouth._ Paul's buzz was immediately killed by the fear that Josh would never see him the same way ever again, that this _whatever_ would hang between them forever, and talking about it be dammed. 

When his orgasm was over, Paul finally removed his arm and looked down to watch Josh spit come onto the carpet, his face redder than he had ever seen it. Paul quickly put his pants back on, but froze when his eyes landed on his bitten arm. 

“Josh-” 

“Your bite's gone!” 

It was true. His bite, which had been slowly rotting before, was now completely gone. If they hadn't known better, they would have thought the whole zombie-apocalypse was some terrible nightmare. The only sign that Paul had even been bitten in the first place were faint teeth-shaped scars in a line down his forearm. 

Ecstatic, Paul jumped forward off the couch and tackled Josh, crushing him to the floor. “Dude, I'm fucking alive! We survived the apocalypse! Oh man, I owe you so big! Whatever you want, I'll totally fucking do it, dude!” 

Josh awkwardly hugged Paul back before rolling his friend to the side, off of him. “First, don't crush me. And I guess we have a lot of zombie-cocks to blow now.” 

Laying on the floor in the basement facing each other, both men smiled, unable to keep the laughter from bubbling in their chests. The relief of evading death was making it hard to Paul to even see straight. 

Man, it's good to be alive. 

**Author's Note:**

> Paul, Josh, and Nick – I'm so sorry. When you asked me to write this, I bet you were expecting something really funny and sort of not serious. Wow, well, that didn't happen. 
> 
> Fanfiction can change people. It seems like there is no fanfiction for you guys, and while I was writing this, I was scared. Mainly because I am opening Pandora's Box of smut for you guys. Well, at least the first fanfiction (that I know of) written about you guys is somewhat good.
> 
> Expect more fanfiction about you guys now. Maybe from me, probably from other people.
> 
> (Josh, im sorry you're a bottom. You just look like it)


End file.
